Cuadrilla Vs Swampy… WTF

It’s been a while since we’ve heard anything from Cuadrilla that fire breathing mythical creature of the 1960/70’s B movie fame but like everything else from our past he seems to have been revived. I was never exactly sure whether he was a force for good or was a baddie. But this time around he appears to have been resurrected on behalf of the poor consumer struggling to pay the gas bill… excellent.

cuadrilla energy exploration

For the past few years we’ve had to rely on organisations like OFGEM – a toothless litter critter created by the government – to champion our cause for lower energy bills, but not anymore, we now have our very own fire breathing 100ft energy creating monster from the B movies… Cuadrilla. In the 70’s I seem to remember Cuadrilla obtained his power from biting on electricity power lines… oh, that could be a showstopper…  might add to our problems. But we needn’t worry, just like other 70’s revivals he’s been improved and no longer feeds on the power grid… his new superfood is a fast growing share price and government subsidies. So I guess that makes him green too. And like all superhero fire breathing monsters he has a special weapon the Frack… WTF.

It appears however that the Frack or Fracking is a little controversial… but hey, it’s unlikely that you’re going to get a subtle answer to our energy crisis from a creature with a name like Cuadrilla.

So as Cuadrilla trawls across our green and pleasant land should we care that the ground shakes a little and there’s the occasional accidental blaze caused by his fire breathing shrill. Personally I’m a little weary but maybe it might be worth it for the low cost gas that he promises.

But like all superheroes Cuadrilla has a nemesis… Swampy… this little fella claims to be one of us and fights for the good of mankind. But can we trust him? After all it turns out that Swampy is the bastard child of Dr Middleclass and Miss Nimby. His image is not helped by a group of grubby looking disciples that have the same hippie based outlook probably born out of a background of wealth and privilege. I doubt that any of them have ever had to worry about the cost of gas and keeping warm during a cold winter.

Swampy gets his power by praying on our fears and conscious whilst reassuring us that he knows best… his special weapon is the promise of Armageddon if he doesn’t get his way. Sounds like a cult religion to me.

So where should my loyalty and support sit. Personally I’m not a Swampy fan, I like my heroes to be strong, reassuring and something to aspire to… for me Swampy is a weaselly character who has a poisonous message of negativity and doom. The world today has been shaped by exploration and pushing boundaries. What would the world look like if our decisions were based on the fear of the unknown and doing nothing because we’re too scared?  I like that Swampy prods my conscious and raises questions – but is that really his motive. To me it seems that he and his disciples crave the power to decide what’s best for others without a clue of what others have to do to get by… including paying the gas bill.

So that leaves me with Cuadrilla the people’s fire breathing cheap energy giving dinosaur. I’m not totally comfortable with a hero that seems to rely on brute force and fire. Maybe he just needs a makeover …a softer image and a new name, how about Barney the Fracking Dinosaur. Ahh…WTF

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One thought on “Cuadrilla Vs Swampy… WTF

  1. chris says:

    Thoughtful and funny.

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